Me – The Complete Autobiology.
Oops. Sorry – autobiography. You wouldn’t want me to get that personal.
I was born (not under a wandering star, but in 1959, since you’re asking) and brought up in Essex, but now find myself, for no logical reason I can fathom, living in North Devon.
One of the first of the comprehensive school intake in the 1970s, I passed an undistinguished academic career, ending up with a few O-levels and one A-level. (English Lit, since you’re asking again – nosy, aren’t you?)
Thrown out into the world of work, I’ve been an insurance clerk, a computer programmer, a freelance proofreader and, for one week only, a holiday-relief postman. Currently, I care for my disabled wife – until further notice, in which case this notice might need to be updated. Not that anyone will notice.
I’ve taken part in amateur dramatics (musicals, since you’re… Oh, you weren’t), I play guitar very badly, bang a couple of percussion instruments (also very badly) and also sing (need I repeat it?). I attend a charismatic church, where I plug electrical things in once a month in order to make the sound come out. Sometimes I even find time to breathe, although that’s only an optional extra.
As well as the aforementioned wife, I also have two stepsons, seven step-grandchildren, and a brother and sister. (I did have two sisters, but sadly, one of them is no longer with us.)
My name, by the way, is simply Colin Smith. (There, that’s a surprise, isn’t it?) No middle name. The reason I’ve included the ‘Z’ is that there’s already at least two authors called Colin Smith, and I feel it would only confuse matters to add one more to the pile. Plus, some girl long ago at junior school, on hearing my given moniker, remarked (very loudly) ‘Ugh – what a horrible name!’ So I think adding the ‘Z’ at least gives it a bit of glamour, don’t you?
The ‘Z’ is short for Zachary, an homage to the pantomime villain in the great 1960s TV series Lost In Space. Merely one of my many comic heroes.
So, that’s me. And whoever you are – it’s lovely to meet you. I do hope we get along.